Ignoring Relationship Red Flags

Unfortunately, lots of people ignore those messy feelings or red flags that can really effect on your relationship with your love one. People usually ignore these red flags because they think that they can not change them, but by kicking these red flags away from your relationship does not always guarantee that you will have a stable relationship because these red flags can prove to be biggest deal breakers for you and can hit you back in your butt. So, why not face them bravely! Here are some relationship deal breakers red flags that most people ignore:

• You begin to compare. Suddenly, you find yourself comparing your old situation to your current. Worst is you begin to tell your partner that it’s better before than now. You tell wonderful thoughts and share wonderful moments you had before and you let your partner feel that you miss those things.

• You miss your ex and plan to get in touch again. This could be the worse thing to happen. Communicating with your ex may mean you want a closure or may mean you want to give it another try. If you are really healed of the past, you won’t entertain that thought of communicating with your ex.

• You go to places where you usually hang out before. You are really not over it. Spending time going to those places means you still miss your ex. Even if you tell yourself that it’s nothing, there will be a point where you will begin to remember the past when you go there and that is a clear indication that you are still not over your ex.

Too Much Familiarity

While lack of communication may be in your list, too much communication can also be a threat. It’s understandable if you are often together at the first 3 months of your relationship; but as you mature, you must understand that too much closeness can be a danger. There will be too much familiarity and the thrill is being neglected. In a relationship, there should be this sense of thrill always no matter how long you are together. Remember, if you have plans of settling down, you will spend the rest of your life together. If before marriage you are always together, seeing each other day to day, you might end up getting tired of each other.

Too much familiarity ends to common fight. Because you are already too much familiar with each other’s attitude, you expect a lot from each other too. You expect to be always understood even if you seem unreasonable and same goes with your partner.

Too much closeness can also make extraordinary moments to something ordinary and plain; like celebrating anniversaries and other important occasions. Because you already knew what’s going to happen, everything becomes a routine.

Even the people around you whose suppose to give inspiration to you as a couple may just treat every moment plain and simple, everything looks ordinary and a routine type of work to you.

Things can get worse for you if both of you are working in one building, and living in same area; you don’t have a choice but to see or be with each other. If this is the case, make sure you do something creative so that you don’t lose the spark in your relationship.

Immaturity

Relationship is not all about love. It is not all about flowers and chocolates. It is not all about dating and watching a movie together. Being in a relationship means being with someone you love yet is totally different from you. You are still two different individuals connected by love for each other. You must be mature enough to accept the differences and do things to meet both ends. Though it’s a cliché, I will still write; “It takes two to Tango.” Not because you are the girl, you will act like a queen and demand things.

Maturity doesn’t come with age. A mature relationship accepts, understands, and complements. There are new couples who can handle a relationship like a pro. Also, there are those who are together for long yet do not know how to respond maturely when a conflict arises.

This does not mean you won’t fight anymore. This is just to say that if you are in a mature relationship, you won’t be arguing with petty things anymore. Yes you may encounter problems, but since there is maturity, you can face and solve the problems without hurting each other.

Another sign of maturity is accepting faults, asking for forgiveness, and talking over so the mistakes can be avoided next time. Whenever there are arguments, you talk it over so it won’t happen anymore. Though it may still happen, you know how to face those conflicts.

Immaturity kills a relationship. It can ruin your character eventually ruining your affection for each other, until everything is destroyed.

Everything Based On Feelings

One piece of advice: Do not enter a relationship just because you are in love. Sooner or later, the love may dwindle. If that happens, the relationship also dwindles. If your relationship is not just based on feelings, but rather based on character and perspective, you are in the right direction. God created our mind over our heart. This means that we have to use our brains first before believing what we feel. Our feelings can deceive us so we need our minds to help us decide on things.

If everything is based on emotions, you may be overestimating or underestimating matters. Most of the time, wrong decisions are born at the peak of a strong emotion. Whether it’s positive or negative emotion, never rely on it. Make sure you contemplated on it first before you turn it into a decision.

Relationships that are based on feelings alone are more likely to end sooner. Feelings change from time to time. You may find yourself falling in love with a new person, falling out of love, and falling in love again. So make sure you enter a relationship with your entire mind and heart. Then while inside a relationship, nurture it with the right perspective and not based on emotions alone.

Cheating

It’s ironic because everybody knows that cheating is a big NO-NO in a relationship yet, most fall into this trap. If you will think of cheating in a relationship perspective, you’ll find many reasons behind it. However, there can only be one major basis; you don’t feel that spark anymore that you try to find another outlet. Sad to say, many resort to this trap without considering patching things with the partner. Note that this is a cycle. It goes on and on as if you are restlessly searching for the one who can really meet your needs. Cheating is common to relationships with no firm foundation. This is common to relationship based on attraction only. The affair is so shallow that you can easily get out without sweat.

In order not to cheat, you must have an open communication with your partner. It pays that your partner is not just a lover but also a confidant with a mature mind to understand circumstances. With this, you can easily tell your partner what’s going on with you so you can find ways to treat the problem together.

Conclusion

Being in a relationship is not always in bliss. Yes, there are happy moments but there are also those moments where conflict arises. Problems are inevitable. However, if you have to right attitude then your relationship is bound to last. Your differences nor your similarities must always be taken into the proper context as a sign of respect to your other half.

Taking care of your relationship should be innate and must not be dictated by any situations. There should be a mutual collaboration between partners in achieving and maintaining a beautiful love affair.

With the above top 5 relationship breakers, may you be guided on what to do when you feel you are encountering them. Whether you are currently in a relationship or in a relationship that is on the rocks, or maybe just about to enter one, it is highly recommended that you always have an open communication with your partner and not focus on discussing feel good issues only.

Again, the purpose of this post is not to alarm you or frighten you. Rather, this is to make you realize that beauty of a relationship is not difficult to achieve as long as you are free of past grudges, have a mature mind, respect for each other’s privacy,

Spend Some Time Away From Each Other

When things are really turbulent, it is best to spend some time away from your partner. This tactic sometimes proves to be a magical solution because a night apart can fire up sense of reuniting or longing between couples and your love ones and it’s always great to have this feeling back in a relationship. It is the fact that when you ignore someone or move away, there is always time for retrospection and the value of the other person in your life will become clearer to you. Do not try to talk or offer advice to your partner whenever you try this tactics, because it won’t help you alot. Time, they say, is the best healer. So, give some time to your love one to think about the relationship that you both have. In order to get some peace of mind, you can choose some spiritual places of interest like churches, temples or any other place. Just sitting aside on the sea-shore and looking towards the horizon is also a great way to break these tense situations.

Recreate Child-Like Fun

In life you need to be sincere and not serious. Of course, there is no point laughing twenty four hours but when it comes to improving relationships, creating child-like fun can be of great help. Just sharing some of the memories wherein there was some serious childish fun involved will provide a great boost and fun in your relationship. You can also take some creative action and indulge in some playful activities as well. Just forget about all those big talks for a few moments and play a fun game. Repeat some childish stuff that you both would have executed in past and find out how easily those passions and feelings come soaring back. If you are a parent and if your relationship is suffering a lot with your kids due to your work or any other reason just plan a trip to an amusement park, carnival, water park or Chuck-E-Cheese restaurant and have fun with them. I am sure, this will help you a lot to loose the tension.

Pointing Out The Good Qualities

Appreciation is a habit that can improve any kind of relationship. We all love to have good compliments from each other. Remember how good you feel when your school teacher praises you in school? Similarly it is very important in relationships that couples not only discover good qualities of each other but they should appreciate them in front of each other to bring back the love and fresh feelings once again in a relationship . When relationships are hovering on the negative side, you can always point out the good qualities of the other person. After all we are human begins and there will be some bad qualities. But focusing on the best part will no doubt create a sense of respect and wanting which is so essential in a healthy relationship. You don’t have to do something silly or something out of this world in order to offer unique compliment to other person. Just note down the nice things of the other person each day and appreciate them in front of your love one. Just practice this technique daily and you will be amazed to see the results.

A New Sports Or A Hobby Together Can Be A Great Help For You!

Practicing the same stuff every day can make you and your partner bore and it is surely not good for your relationship as well. So, get out and search some kind of hobby or activity wherein you can take part together. Go out hiking or learn swimming or play some outdoor games together. By actively participating in a new hobby or a game, couples will not only learn hidden things about each other but they can also get good opportunity to strengthen their relationship as well. The best part about being together in an activity is that you don’t have to think about mending the relationships. Things are almost automatically taken care of when people are playing or engrossed together in a hobby. The protocols of the game or the hobby will be enough to generate a team spirit sort of feeling and you never know when the magic may occur. It takes almost an instant for the focus to shift and relationships to boom back to life.

Let Go Your Past

Past is past and it won’t come back-such a simple concept yet people have to take counseling on this very same issue. Negative moments will come in any relationship. You have to bury them from time to time to ensure that the focus remains on making the relationship a good one. The art of forgiving is something that will prove to be the most valuable skill that one can ever learn. Once the mind forgives, the attachment for the negative issues is removed easily. If you are having trouble in forgiving, remember the happiness and relief that was felt when some had forgiven your mistakes. There is nothing hard and fast that has to occur in a relationship and people make mistakes from time to time. Think about the goal and the overall relationship for if you are going to keep the grudge within the relationship will surely die out.

Look For Creative Solutions

We apply so much thought and contemplation for solving everyday problems in home and office, search online for hours in order to find the best shopping store or the best car mechanic in town, then why not we show the same promise and effort in improving our relationships? If there is a problem, a solution can be created. When it is the case of relationships, people make the mistake of attaching a lot of mystical attribute to the whole issue, as though something magical has to occur for the problem to get resolved. It is important to understand that you need efforts and creative solutions to solve your problems. Go to your friends, relatives and other people and take help or tips from them. Make sure that you do constructive efforts to resolve your issues.

Constant Retrospection

Even when relationships are improving there must be regular retrospection of the events and issues that led to the creation of the specific problem. Constant retrospection of any problem will not only help you to identify your mistakes but it can also prove to be a invaluable tool in improving the current state of affairs between couples as well. There are small issues that escape our attention and these assume mammoth proportions in due course of time. Remember, you can find the root cause of the problem, if you will monitor it carefully.  For example, may be the other person is being irritated by some habit of yours and one fine day this very irritation becomes the cause of a huge altercation. Be in touch with the situation and pull out the weeds that are harming your relationship.

Go On A Vacation

Vacation is a tried and tested technique for bringing back the zeal in relationships. Leave aside all the problems, issues and all that stuff behind. Just pack your bags and go for a safari trip or a trip into the vast Amazon jungles. Let the world mesmerize your mind through its beautiful spots and other sceneries. When you don’t want to put in the efforts just take a vacation and allow the healing to start on its own. Many people have found the perfect answer to their problems in some recreation trips.

Doing Something For The Community Together

Your troubles are not the biggest issues on earth. Often we are surrounded only by petty issues and the mind seems to revolve only around certain predefined topics. Start noticing the people in your community that need help regarding various problems. You can start a donation campaign and feel the blessings of people in your life. Dong something together for the benefit of society will provide a reason to work together and in a sense provide a mission for life. When you look at other’s problems together and make an effort to solve them, there is an automatic healing process that is taking the relationship to a new level.

Thinking About The End

Last but not the least, no one is there forever. The great Steve Jobs accomplished everything owing to one phrase “We all will be dead soon”. Knowing that our time on earth is limited provides that much needed spark to leave out petty and trivial issues and focus on the bigger quest. Very often we tend to forget this simple and basic fact that all of us are born with. Our time on earth is precious and many things remain undone till the last moment. The time for enjoying the great relationship is now. Now is the moment. That ought to be the biggest spur needed to lead a great life.